


What The Post Credits Scene Should Have Been

by neonheartbeat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:43:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3869122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neonheartbeat/pseuds/neonheartbeat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I WANT MY POST CREDITS SCENE. I AM A GREEDY, GREEDY WOMAN. </p>
<p>Fuck you, Joss Whedon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What The Post Credits Scene Should Have Been

“Gently. _Gently_!”

“I _think_ I know what I am doing--”

“Tony, lay off him. It’s his hammer.”

“And it’s _my_ _elevator_.”

Thor set Mjolnir down gently on the floor of the elevator in Stark Tower, right in the center. “I still do not know what it is you wish to prove with this.”

“It’s science. This is an experiment.” Tony pushed his sunglasses up on his nose and frowned at Mjolnir. Mjolnir sat on the floor, quite indifferent to any said experimentation.

“Is that why you and Steven both have clipboards?” Thor stood back and crossed his arms.

“That’s the difference between just doing stupid things and science,” Tony explained. “Writing it down, I mean.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Just press the button, Tony. I don’t have all day.”

“Right, because you have--what, old ladies to help cross the street somewhere? Come on, Cap, this’ll take ten seconds, max.”

“Would you just push it already?”

“That’s what she said,” Tony fired back, and whirled dramatically toward the up button. “Pushing...now!” He thumbed the button and leapt back, waiting.

The light went on, the doors slid shut, and...nothing happened.

Thor’s brow furrowed. “Perhaps there is a malfunction in the elevator.”

Steve whipped out a pen. “Should I start writing this down yet?”

“It’s got to be some kind of DNA coding system in the handle,” Tony said, looking smug.

“I’m telling you, it’s a fixed quantum point,” said Steve. “It only moved when it’s moved upon by a force it decides should move it. Totally arbitrary. If it was a DNA code in the handle, Vision wouldn’t have been able to lift it.”

Thor looked slightly hurt. Tony frowned at Steve. “Where the hell did you have time to brush up on quantum physics?”

“These things called books, you should really give them a try--”

“Behold,” said Thor, and they both turned to see the elevator slowly rising through the glass outer wall, Mjolnir still firmly sitting in the center of the floor.

Tony’s clipboard hit the ground first. Steve whooped in a moment of rare unbridled joy. “I was right! I was _right_ and you were wrong, you’re buying pizza for everyone every night for the next month and you’re repairing my leg press machine, _yes_ \--”

“You _broke_ the leg press--”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot my own strength and snapped the cable after pressing almost half a ton, how gosh-darn foolish of me--” Steve was beaming.

“You--that is _not_ what happened, you took apart _my_ leg press machine to rig up some ungodly amount of weight, you--you--” Tony spluttered, throwing his pen over his shoulder.

“It matters not! Let us go and share what we have discovered with Barton, he will be most pleased.” Thor lifted his hand, and Mjolnir flew through two layers of reinforced glass to land firmly in the center of his palm. “Oh,” he said, looking at the broken glass. “Apologies.”

“Don’t sweat it. No big deal. Just be careful where you swing that thing,” said Tony, looking utterly defeated.

Thor’s face broke out in a sunny, mischievous smile. “That’s what she said,” he muttered with a wink, and Steve exploded into gales of laughter while Tony covered his face with both hands and slid to the floor.

 


End file.
